Marriage, Christmas '10, & Day 202

So... I'm seriously falling behind on my blogging. I need to catch up... So first things first...

Marriage. I've decided to put more time and effort into my marriage. I feel like this deployment has done two things.. made me stronger, and made my marriage weaker. I feel like my husband and I are so distant that we're falling apart. John has similar feelings and neither of us want that. We both love each other dearly, and we will both do whatever it takes to make this marriage work. I'm still very much in love with him, and he's still in love with me... our marriage just needs some strengthening and some work. We want our fairytale feeling back... and we're fighting for it.

Christmas. It was a lot of fun. I still have to get up with the "powers that be" and find out when I can bring Caleb his gifts. I plan to do that tomorrow. Shayli got tons of gifts and had a very happy Christmas. I was also happy to see everyone was happy with the gifts they received from us.

Day 202. I can not friggin believe it. We're over halfway through. 163 days left maximum. That's it. The whole shebang. And it will probably be a LOT less. Meaning we're almost done. I'm so excited. I'm so happy for my husband to come home. We can get our relationship back on the right track and start our new life. Moving to KY. I can not wait. A new world. New friends. A fresh start. And honestly, I think it's exactly what we need. <3

Public Service Announcement

Your drama and your bullshit are not welcome here. I have enough shit in my own life to deal with yours too. You can vent to me all you want, but do not come to me expecting me to have the answers to your problems. I can't make a decision for you. If you're being beaten, being cheated on, you're pregnant, you're falling in love with someone, you're falling in love with me, you're falling out of love with someone... Whatever the hell your problems are, I'm not your answer and I refuse to be drawn into your drama. My new years resolution is to avoid all drama. You bring it to me, expect to be cut off like a limb with gangrene. It may hurt the both of us... but I have come to realize your drama will hurt me more in the long run than cutting you off to begin with will.

So Far Away

This song was written by Synyster Gates a member of the band Avenged Sevenfold in memory of Jimmy "The Rev" Sullivan, who passed away in December 09 due to an accidental overdose. Since hearing this song, it has made me think of many people in my life, including my mother who died in 08, my friend, Allen, who recently committed suicide, and one verse in particular even reminds me of my grandfather who recently passed away of lung cancer ("Sleep tight, I’m not afraid. The ones that we love are here with me. Lay away a place for me ‘Cause as soon as I’m done, I’ll be on my way To live eternally.") I wanted to post the lyrics seeing as it's such a beautiful song.


So Far Away - Avenged Sevenfold


Never feared for anything.

Never shamed but never free.

A light that healed the broken heart with all that it could

Lived the life so endlessly.

Saw beyond what others see.

I tried to heal your broken heart with all that I could


Will you stay?

Will you stay away forever?


How do I live without the ones I love?

Time still turns the pages of the book it’s burned.

Place and time always on my mind.

I have so much to say but you’re so far away.


Plans of what our features hold

Foolish lies of growin’ old

It seems we’re so invincible, the truth is so cold.

A final song, a last request

A perfect chapter laid to rest

Now and then I try to find a place in my mind


Where you can stay,

You can stay awake forever.


How do I live without the ones I love?

Time still turns the pages of the book it’s burned.

Place and time always on my mind.

I have so much to say but you’re so far away.


Sleep tight, I’m not afraid.

The ones that we love are here with me.

Lay away a place for me

‘Cause as soon as I’m done,

I’ll be on my way

To live eternally.


How do I live without the ones I love?

Time still turns the pages of the book it’s burned

Place and time always on my mind

And the light you left remains but it’s so hard to stay

When I have so much to say, you’re so far away.


I love you

You were ready

The pain is strong and urges rise

But I’ll see you

When He lets me

Your pain is gone, your hands untied.


So far away.


And I need you to know


So far away


And I need you to,

Need you to know…

Numbness, Exciting News, & Day 165

It's been 165 days. Meaning 200 left maximum. Though it will most likely be left. I'm so happy about this. It's hard, it's painful, but it's going by.

So, exciting news... John re-enlisted. We're getting a bonus and we'll finally be out of debt. We're also moving to Fort Campbell KY and getting out of TX and avoiding going to Fort Bliss. I'm so excited about all of this.

Other than that, I feel alone. I feel like my family is all I have left, which is great, but they aren't exactly the people I WANT around me all the time. They're a bunch of hypocrites. The cast majority of my friends have decided they just have better things to do than be there for me. Funny how the times I need a shoulder the most they all just disappear. After my grandfather passed, I wanted to be alone. When Allen committed suicide, it was different. I needed someone to lean on and John isn't the best when it comes to deaths. I needed people to talk to. I still do, and it seems like the people I loved and counted on and considered family have turn tail and ran. Even the one who I thought would always be there for me. Who is close enough to me to have a piece of my heart is too busy for me. I try to contact her and she never responds. I call and get told I'll get a call back. I guess it's just the end of the line for her and I. Her relationship is much better now, but I guarantee it's got a ton to do with the fact that she distanced herself from me. Don't get me wrong, I'm glad she's happy, I really am. But I hate feeling like I was just expendable.

I just feel like the people I've counted on for so long... The ones I've given parts of myself to.. The ones who I went out of my way to help... are just gone. I guess I wasn't as important to them as they were to me. Or at least, that's how I feel. Maybe I feel the wrong way.
All I know... is it feels numbing. The people I counted on have walked away, Allen committed suicide so I can turn to him no longer, and I can't turn to my husband because he has enough going on within his world as is.

I just want an actual best friend (aside from my husband). Like the kind of best friends other people have. The ones that would do anything for you, don't stab you in the back, understand where priorities lie, love you like family, and treat you with the dignity and respect you deserve. But I guess a best friend is someone you meet in childhood and keep forever, and I moved too much to ever do that... So I guess a best friend is too much to ask for.
But I'm thankful. I have my husband, who tries his hardest to be there for me no matter what and always helps me out. I have a family that loves me, though they have their awfully two-faced moments. And I have my daughter who is a greater gift than I ever could have asked for.

Fading Memories, I miss you, and Day 151

R&R has come and gone. John is now back overseas. I wasn't able to blog at all during the month of October. It was one thing after another. My grandfather passed away. I still feel numb. It's like everything just froze in time. Then John came home. Then my dear friend Allen committed suicide. I don't know how to deal with this anymore. R&R feels like nothing more than a dream. My memories of my grandfather and of Allen feel so hard to hold on to. And I've been so busy that I haven't had the time to cry, much less grieve. It's even harder since I don't have people to talk to about what I'm feeling/going through. But I'm doing it. Just trying to be strong. There will be plenty of time to grieve and let go and move on after deployment right?

The major countdown begins.

So in 8 days I'll be headed to AL. Then it's only a matter of days (but I can't tell you how many) until John leaves to head here. I still don't know what day to expect him to land in Mobile, but I know what day he's leaving Afghanistan, so I can guesstimate.

I'm starting to get excited. Like really fucking excited. :) Like a kid in a candy store.

In other news, I'm also happy. I have officially lost 4 pant sizes. I'm down to a 16 from a 24. I was finally able to fit into the dress I wanted at hot topic. I'm happy. I'm healthier than I've ever been and I'm losing weight and I'm happy. Now if only my tongue would allow the swelling to go down and heal. Then I'd be much happier cuz I could eat again without feeling like there was a golfball in my mouth. Stupid tongue ring. Note to self, if you ever take this piercing out, don't get it re done. Do not let anyone shove a needle through your tongue. Not a good idea. LOL.

I'm off to watch netflix again. I had enough fun with the trolls on BG tonight.

To the dumbfucks at housing/maintenence

"We don't know" is not an acceptable fucking answer when I ask why my water is cut off. I don't give a shit if the whole neighborhood doesn't have water right now, I want some semblance of an explanation. Are you working on the problem? Doesn't seem like it seeing as you so nonchalantly told me you didn't know and that I would just have to wait and see what happens. I have a 9 month old daughter who drinks formula. I refuse to buy bottled water due to the fact that it is a waste of money. So now I have to find a friend who I can chill with for the day because for some unknown unexplained reason, there isn't any water. Go fuck yourselves. I'm sick of there never being any explanation for anything around here.

Day 100... WHAT? (mini-blog)

It's day friggin 100! 100. WTF. How did we get here? And this fast? Only like 33 more days and we'll be 1/3 of the way through. I feel like a kid in a candy store. I'm happy as can be. Like, it's so exciting to know we've made it this far! Remember in kindergarten and first grade where you counted straws, or broke a piece of paper off the chain every day until you reached day 100 and then you had a big celebration? That's how I feel today, like it's the 100th day of school, only so much more important. I'm so excited.
Thank you, to my family and friends, my computer and tv, and to everything that has kept me occupied the past 100 days. You all are amazing. <3

First Steps, Drama, Illiterate Bitches, and Day 95.

Day 95 is coming to an end, thank God. It's been one bad thing after another. I was up all night waiting for John to sign back online because he said he would, and I finally passed out at 8am due to exhaustion. Of course, Shayli woke up around 2 hours later I'm guessing, but I was so deep into sleep (because I haven't been sleeping) that I never heard her. I finally was woken up at 5pm. Yepp, I'm mother of the year, my child hadn't eaten in 18 hours and hadn't had a diaper change in almost 19. Go ahead, jump my ass. I feel like shit already. I promptly changed her diaper, and while I was making her bottles (yes, I made her 2 6 oz bottles because I figured she'd want more than one - I was right) she happily crawled of the couch. When I walked in, she was smiling, standing next to the couch holding onto it with one hand. She said momma, and then took two steps toward me, and moved her hand to a new section of the couch. So despite my fail of the month, she was an extremely happy baby, and has been amazing all day.

Drama. I fucking hate it. Normally when it's brought around me I squash the shit like a little bug. Squashing it creates a dramatic blow up, but the way I see it, I'd rather have a huge blow up and get everything sorted out for a few weeks, then have drama every single day for the rest of my life. So to you.. you don't read this, and you never will, but quit twisting stories to make me look like the damn bad guy. To say I went to Bre throwing your faults in her face just because you know I said SOMETHING to her, is complete bullshit. I didn't even tell her what was going on. I gave her a brief statement of "I think something's going on". Just because she knew a person's name does not mean I went blabbing to her. BE A FUCKING MAN! If you want to say I did something, why don't you call me and find out the real fucking story instead of jumping down my best friends throat about how you hate me? When I say something false about you, you are the first person to call me and jump my ass, but if you say something about me, I'm "dramatic" to try to set you straight. you're a hypocrite. And a friggin moron. I come to you and validate facts before I spew bullshit. You should try it sometime.
And to my sister, it's really shitty that you spent 20 minutes with me the last day I was in town, talking about how you had an 8am class in the morning and you needed to go back to the dorm. You also mentioned you had recently failed an exam... so we let you leave and go back to the dorms, just for me to find out you went and partied it up with your friends at the clubs all night. Fuck you. That's bullshit. It really shows me how I rate in your life. Then your rapist, abusive, ex boyfriend IMs me and tells me you're getting back together with him? Are you a fucking moron? Tell you what, make up your damn mind. If you want to get back together with him, then stop driving your current boyfriend's truck, give him back his debit card, quit using him and quit stringing him along. You're a user, and you've made it quite clear where I fit into your life. I don't. So just stop talking to me, and leave me alone. You only want me around when it's convenient for you anyway. One day you'll grow up and realize what a horribly immature person you are being.

Illiterate bitches. So I'm on my way to walmart today to get formula. And I get to this stoplight, which is green. Next to the stoplight in BIG BOLD CAPITOL letters is says "DO NOT BLOCK INTERSECTION" in front of me is another red light, with a ton of cars behind it and the last one is just barely out of the intersection. So what do I do? I can read. So I stop, at a green light. It's illegal to block an intersection, whether there is a sign or not. But with a sign there, your fine goes up. Behind me is a woman in her 30s I'd say. She's blaring on her horn, screaming at me to go because the light is green and flipping me off. I stay still, attempting to ignore her, patiently awaiting the cars in front of me to go, so that I can go through my green light without blocking the intersection. The dumb bitch slams into me! I was pissed, needless to say. I get out of my car, and thankfully there is no damage to it. However both of her headlights are busted (kinda funny I think). She starts screaming... conversation was quite amusing now that I think about it, here's how it goes.

Her: Can you not fucking see the green light?
Me: Are you illiterate? Can you read?
Her: When a light is green you go you dumbass cunt.
Me: When the sign says "DO NOT BLOCK INTERSECTION" in big bold capitol letters, you stop.
Her: I want your insurance information. You fucked my car up.
Me: You slammed into me, you did damage to your car, you risked my daughter's life, all because you can't read. You are not getting my insurance information. You may call your insurance company and tell them YOU fucked your car up cuz you're an ignorant bitch who can't read.
Her: I don't have time for this. Don't disrespect me little girl. I can call the police and OWN your car.
Me: Really? You're in a company car. If you had done damage to me, I could take you to court and own your ass. There are eyewitnesses here who saw how this happened. you wanna play that game? (at the time, I'm preparing to call the cops, because I'm thinking that's where this is going) And I'm no "little girl", I'm a grown ass woman. There is however a 9 month old little girl in my backseat who could have suffered injuries if your had pressed your gas a little harder. How would you like to tell the police that?
Her: I know your tag number. You'll be hearing from me you stupid cunt.
Me: Funny how you can read my tag number, but not the "DO NOT BLOCK INTERSECTION" sign.
She promptly gets in her car and speeds off with her horn blaring and flipping me off. Too bad a cop was in the parking lot across the street. He was dealing with an altercation at a convenience store. His partner heard and watched everything. As she sped off blaring her horn, she got a ticket. I'm assuming for speeding, and running the red light she ran when she left the intersection. Gotta love morons.

When I finally get to walmart and I pay for my formula, my tab came to some odd number of dollars and 17 cents. So I hand the lady the correct amount of dollars and 22 cents. That's right, two dimes and two pennies. Any idea why? Because I didn't want three pennies back. What is 22 minus 17? 5. That's right, a nickel. She has to punch into the computer the exact amount I gave her so that she can give me back the right amount of change anyway. And the computer would have told her 5 cents. How hard is it to take the extra two pennies and give me a nickel? It's not. What does she do? She hands me back the two pennies, tells me I gave her too much. Punches in dollar amount and 20 cents and gives me three more pennies after it tells her what to give me. So now I have a pocket filled with pennies. Not that big of a deal, not something to bitch about, but I hate pennies, and it wouldn't have taken any longer to hand me a nickel. Actually it would have been shorter because you wouldn't have had to bust open that penny roll and count to three. You could have said "1" in your head and handed it to me. Either way, thanks for at least smiling during our encounter, most cashiers act miserable.

It's day 95. We're almost to 100 days. At 133 we'll be about 1/3 of the way through this deployment, give or take a few days. It's exciting. I'm proud of myself. R&R is coming soon. I can't wait to see my soldier. Now, I'm off to BG it up for a bit. Thanks for reading.

Day 93, Back in TX

Well it's been 93 days since I last saw my soldier, and I miss him more and more. I'm starting to allow myself to get excited bout R&R. I just wish it wasn't such a tease.

I'm back in TX. Vacation over. Time to get back to business. I have R&R to plan, another trip to AL (for R&R), Shayli's birthday party to plan, Christmas, New Years... It seems like it's all so close but yet still to far away. Shayli got her 7th tooth. She now stands without parental assistance (she'll find something to assist her). She's getting so big. And he's missing all of it. I hate that, but I understand. It's what he does, and despite all the negative things, I'll say once again I'm damn proud of him.

For those of you who read my last blog, my trip to Ohio went great. Both my sisters were amazing, and honestly, you would think we've known each other our whole lives. Brittany even decided she does want a relationship with my dad. It was amazing. I can't wait to go back again.

Other than that there's not much going on. Just waiting, counting, hoping for everything to go by fast and praying for his safe return. I count in paychecks. I always look forward to the next payday. One day I'll have a payday set for after his return, and that will be amazing.

Day 70 and Anxiety Issues

As R&R looms ever closer I'm beginning to hate the fucking little monster. I'm thinking of how excited I am to see my husband, but how bad I'm going to hate it. 2 weeks and then he's gone. That's 14 days. 840 hours. 2400 minutes. Or 144,000 precious little seconds. And then he'll be gone again. For about 7 months give or take. Which would be all fine and dandy, if it weren't such a goddamn tease. What is 14 compared to 365? The only thing that is helping me keep my head up is knowing that this has and end. And it has to end before such and such date according to his orders. So I have SOMETHING to look forward to. This whole year bullshit is for the dogs. My cousin is a Marine that recently got back, after 9 months. 9 months? And they are supposed to be the tough guys? Then why is my man still gone a whole year? I guess the few and proud get special treatment? That's some class act bullshit right there. (For those of you who have comments about why they have short deployments, cram it, I'm venting. Just let me do so. I love all men and women who serve our country no matter what their insignia/logo/whatever you call it is. Just let me vent.) This is just such schoolyard bullshit. And R&R is an evil little bastard.

In other news, it looks like john is going to re-up. Which I'm all for. It also looks like we stand a chance of getting the hell out of this unit. Which is wonderful because I'm quite tired of playing bullshit games with the fucking morons in it, plus I don't want to move to El Paso. It's also bad, because I don't want to leave Hood. I kinda have friends here and I like it. It has become a home that we have built together. But that's life. You go where it takes you and you rebuild. At least we will hopefully (crossing my fingers) be closer to all of my family.

Now, onto Anxiety issues.
I'm leaving AL in like 2 days to go visit my sister whom I've never met in OH. Her and her husband and my niece and nephew. I was hoping to meet my other sister as well but it was looking like she might have had too busy of a schedule. however it has recently come to my knowledge that she will be there... which is great, kind of amazing actually... but there's a couple things that have my mind racing. Kristin, I have talked to a lot and we're really close and I'm excited as hell. Brittany however, we haven't talked much, which puts me on edge... I'm nervous, like big time. What do I say to a sister I don't know? Hell I barely know either of them.
Also, I'm worried. my dad has this fear that this will all be a 20 questions thing. A "Why did you/didn't you do this for the past 20 years" set up. And since he mentioned it, I'm stressing over it.
Meanwhile Kristin is expecting something to come up and cause us not to make it and everything is just... ODD. I don't know how to feel, and I will probably be a nervous wreck until I get up there and find out everything is okay, but I really hope this isn't dramafest 2010.

My life does not revolve around deployment!!!

We're over 2 months into this. I'm adjusting to you being gone, you're adjusting to being away. And now you're being more clingy than ever. i have literally sat in front of my computer bored as hell with nothing to do for 6 hours waiting on you to get online 6 hours late. I sign into yahoo on my phone so that if you get online when I'm not home, I can still tell you I love you and chat for at least a minute. And yet, because I fell asleep (during a 6 hour wait for you) you decide to tell me I'm blowing you off because I'm not awake and at my computer drooling over talking to you every damn time you log on? WTF am I supposed to do? Never sleep because you might call? Never go anywhere because I have to be at the computer if you get online? I am not that kind of army wife. Sitting here for hour on end drives me nuts. It makes it 13 thousand times worse for me. You know what I do while I sit here? I worry. I worry that you aren't going to get online. I worry that you are hurt. I worry that you won't come home... I love talking to you, and I am so privileged to get to speak to you everyday. But my life did not stop when you left. I can't let it stop because you want to see me everyday on cam. I can't let it stop because you want me to talk to you every chance YOU get. I can't just revolve around your schedule. I have my own schedule as well. And you have no idea how bad you just hurt me by telling me I was blowing you off. By treating me like crap and acting cold to me because I fell asleep or because I waited 2 hours and then decided to take my friend home (of course then you signed on) because I THOUGHT you weren't getting online. You're making me feel like utter crap. I don't know if it's because you're sad or if it's because this deployment is really taking it's toll on you or what. But you've never been clingy, and now is NOT the time to start. I know you want to talk to me, and I love that... but you need to think about someone else beside yourself for a moment. I love you. I can't wait to talk to you again whenever we get the chance. Have a good day at work.

Payback's a bitch & Day 62

It's been over 2 months since this deployment started, and all in all, I think I'm doing pretty well. I'm proud of myself. I've spent the last week or so here in AL with my family. I finally got my license reinstated and it's so nice to be able to drive. We're caught up on bills, only have 3 things left in the pawn shop. We have friends to pay back, but we have plenty of time to do that, and we are working on it little by little. So things are definitely looking up. R&R is coming up soon, and as soon as he goes back to the sandbox, I'll start upping allotments to places and finally start paying more toward these things we are financing. The quicker we pay off this stuff, the less we pay, and the more money we'll have when he gets back. I think we're doing pretty damn good. I've even managed to allot myself a certain amount of spending money per paycheck and was finally able to get my tattoo. Things were pretty bad there for a while due to poor money management, but I'm not worried anymore. I don't worry about how I'm supposed to get Shayli formula. I'm not eating a can of corn for dinner. So everything is okay. :) And we got through it together. I gotta admit, we have some pretty awesome fucking friends.

I'm finally getting to meet my older sisters. My dad and I are taking a trip to Ohio on the 20th, we'll be there for 5-6 days. I'm so excited. My whole life I've heard about these women, but I never thought I'd meet them. Hell, I never thought I'd speak to them. Thank God for facebook or I never would have found them. I'm like kid-in-a-candy-store excited to meet them. :)

And onto the title of this post...

You thought you could make me miserable. You thought you were the one ahead. I laughed at you. Marrying one guy just to cheat on him with a guy who gives you everything you want cuz he has money doesn't make you better than me. It makes you a whore. Money doesn't make you better than anyone. Cheating on that guy with a guy that deals drugs, shows that you're a coke addict, it doesn't show that you found a guy who treats you better. The whole time telling your husband that you'll work it out with him when you have no intention to so he'll keep sending you money as well, just makes you a lying user. And threatening me and my daughter like you did doesn't make you a badass, it makes you a coward. You were so scared I'd actually beat your ass that it made you feel more powerful to threaten an innocent 6 month old child. Everything was going just great for you for a while... and you sure enjoyed throwing your "success" in everyone's face. But I knew better. I sat back and watched, waiting patiently for Karma to bite you in the ass for not only what I have listed here, but for the way you've treated others the past 4 years. And it has. You called me a bitch, but Karma is a bigger bitch than I'll ever be. Now your world is crumbling down. Everyone has turned their back on you except your family, and they are so sick of you it's ridiculous. They have been nice because of your daughter, and that's it. So keep talking shit about me to everyone you think is your friend. It all gets back to me anyway. And I just laugh. For someone who ain't studying me, my name sure comes out of your mouth a whole hell of a lot. Jealousy is an awful disease, get well soon.

Day 28 & A Birthday

So the countup is at 28 days now.If you calculate from the exact hour he left. If you calculate from actual date he left, it's day 29. My countup goes by the time he left though. It seems like it's been forever and I haven't even hit a month yet. I hate this. What I hate more is that he normally gets online 2 times a day to talk to me. That's amazing right? I should feel lucky, and I do. But he doesn't always get on, things happen (working late, sleeping longer, etc) that keep him from getting online so I don't get to talk to him. That's fine, I have no problem with it. I totally understand. The sucky part is that, I don't get any notice if he's not going to get on. I wake up at 5am every morning to talk to him (when I could be sleeping late since Shayli sleeps late) but instead I'm awake. And I sit, and I wait... and if he doesn't get online, then I've wasted time I could have devoted to sleep. And it sucks. It's irritating... yet somehow it's worth it just to see his name pop up when he does sign on.

It's my sister's 18th birthday. It seems like only yesterday I was 7 years old watching her after school while we waited for my mom to get off work. I would make her Ramen noodles. With two ice cubes in the bowl after it was made because the soup was too hot... And now, she's 18 years old and the time just flew. Here is a girl I've known my whole life, and now she's legally an adult. She'll never realize how much I love her and how proud I am of her. My 18 year old sister. The scholarship earning college cheerleader. She got a full ride scholarship to go to school and cheer with one of the best competitive cheerleading squads in the US. And she did it on her own. :) She makes me so happy.

Shayli is 7 months old as of the 30th. It's so hard to believe. She's over halfway to a year. It's like someone hit fast forward and my baby is growing up and I'm missing it. Someone build me a time machine, I just want to keep her like this a little longer!

Other than that, everything is pretty much okay. I miss my family. I can't wait to get down to AL. I love my sister. And I can't wait to see her. And my hubby, wherever he is, whatever he's doing, I hope he knows I'm thinking of him.

About Me Survey

{---Basics---}
Name:	Ashleigh
Nickname(s):	Ashe, and I prefer to go by it
Age:	19
Birthday:	October 24
Birthplace:	NC
Current Location:	TX
Eye Color:	Hazel
Hair Color:	It changes
Height:	5'11"
Weight:	None ya
Lefty or Righty:	Righty
Zodiac Sign:	Scorpio
What Do You Drive:	Mazda 6
Screenname:	On what? lol
{---Favorites---}
Color:	Lime green
Number:	Don't have one
Band:	Tooo many
Music Genre:	Rock
TV Show:	Army Wives
Movie:	Tooo many
Actor:	I have a few. Gerard Butler at the moment though.
Actress:	I have too many
Kind of Movie:	drama or romantic comedy
Cartoon:	Family Guy
Sport:	Football (ROLL TIDE)
Fast Food Restaurant:	Jack in the Box
Food:	I love a lot of food
Ice Cream:	Rocky road, and anything ben and jerrys
Cereal:	lucky charms
Candy:	I have a few favorites
Drink:	Dr. pepper or mtn dew
Alcoholic Beverage:	Vodka
Quote:	"Forget regret, or life is yours to miss"
{---Do You---}
Have any siblings:	3 sisters
Have any pets:	3 cats
Have a job:	Stay at home mommy
Have a cellphone:	Yes
Have any special talents or skills:	I sing and make graphics
Have any fears:	Heights and spiders
Have a bedtime:	No
Sing in the shower:	Often
Want to go to college:	Someday
Get along with your parents:	Yes
Have any piercings:	6
Have any tattoos:	Not yet
Swear:	Like a soldier's wife ;)
Smoke:	Yes
Drink:	Yes
Do Drugs:	No
{---Love & All That Crap---}
Ever been in love:	Yep.
Ever cheated on a boyfriend/girlfriend:	Once, never again
Are you single:	No.
Are you in a relationship:	Married.
Do you have a crush on someone:	My husband
Ever been dumped:	Yes
Ever dumped someone:	Yes
{---This or That---}
Fruit or Vegetable:	I like both
Black or White:	Black
Lights On or Lights Off:	Off
TV or Movie:	Movie
Car or Truck:	Car
Cash or Check:	Cash
Rock or Rap:	Rock
Chocolate or Vanilla:	Chocolate
French Toast or French Fries:	Fries
Strawberries or Blueberries:	Strawberries
Cookies or Muffins:	Cookies
Winter Break or Spring Break:	Spring
Hugs or Kisses:	Kisses
{---Have You Ever---}
Danced in a public place:	Yes
Smiled for no reason:	Yes
Laughed so hard you cried:	Yes
Talked to someone you don't know:	Yes
Drank alcohol:	Yes
Done drugs:	Yes
Partied 'til the sun came up:	Yes
Gotten a ticket:	Yes
Been arrested:	No
Been convicted of a crime:	No
Been in a wreck:	Yes
Been out of the country:	Yes
{---Random & Silly Junk---}
Are you a virgin:	No
Ever TP'd someone's house:	No
Ever egged someone's house:	No
How many languages do you speak:	1
Who do you compare yourself to:	No one
Ever regret anything:	Nope
Do you like being tickled:	Yes and no
What are your goals:	to go to cosmetology school and start my career
Are your fingers tired:	Nope
Are you tired of this survey:	Nope
Are you happy:	Yes

Day 14

John has officially been gone 2 weeks. My god daughter was born the other day (the 21). Shayli misses her daddy. I just got screwed out of my ride to AL, because my "friend" decided he needs to go back to AL and get a piece of ass. I'm back in touch with Bre and I'm glad. Things are going well. I'm proud of how well I'm handling this deployment. We're fixing everything financially. Things are going well and looking up. I'm proud of that.

I'm talking to Nicole again too, I missed her. It sucks when your friends suddenly disappear. I'm glad she's back. It's good to talk to her and Bre. I missed them. I missed Bre more than she knows.

So yeah, this is officially my first post, and I'm gonna basically use this thing to post my thoughts on everything. Or to post anything that means something to me. Fun fun. So lets get down to business shall we? My next post will be just info about me.